remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
