No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
