We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My cat gives me a boner
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
