my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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