After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
