I cockslap morals
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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