whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
