Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
my poor anus
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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