I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
