I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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