my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
