I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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