i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
