yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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