K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
