She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
