1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
