I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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