you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
