oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Found the puke drawer
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
