I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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