would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
