Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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