shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
