So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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