i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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