you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
