He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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