he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize