Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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