Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
