lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
