she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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