Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
