After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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