If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
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I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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