im drinking this country out of the recession.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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