and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
