sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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