So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
