she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize