I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
