school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
