Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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