No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
