im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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