i just had sex bonerless
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
