it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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