We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
