Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
