Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
