apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
