she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
