It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
