I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
